


strange, but good

by carrionkid



Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Factor (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Missing Scene, Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 04:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14927141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrionkid/pseuds/carrionkid
Summary: hi. owl and i are apparently in a competition to make each other feel things. this is my turn in the competition.this is a fic in which star and ric stand in the rain and talk about feelings and like. nothing else at all. but it's sweet and also edited very loosely bc it's after midnight--It is Shatterstar’s job to stay with Julio.It has never been assigned, but it has been implied by those around the two of them.They are concerned for Julio, Shatterstar is as well.Concern for Julio is a foundation of shared kinship; Shatterstar has few other things in common with the majority of the team.





	strange, but good

It is Shatterstar’s job to stay with Julio.

 

It has never been assigned, but it has been implied by those around the two of them.

 

They are concerned for Julio, Shatterstar is as well.

 

Concern for Julio is a foundation of shared kinship; Shatterstar has few other things in common with the majority of the team.

 

The others will not outright say why they are so concerned. He is not good at extrapolating meaning from vague references, prefers people to be direct, but he has an idea of why there is such concern.

 

Shatterstar has not always had concern for others, has not always been used to feeling care or worry, but has felt such things for Julio since meeting him.

 

He likes to be near Julio and Julio likes to be near him, so it is not a forced arrangement.

 

It is a strange day. Shatterstar has a certain fondness for strange days.

 

It is not the dangerous kind of strange day, the kind in which the unexpected tries to kill them, but rather the good kind. It has been raining almost all day, though there is still sunlight overhead and it  is still warm outside.

 

Julio is not around, not in their room, not in the common area. It is Shatterstar’s job to stay with him and it is not enjoyable to attempt to watch things when Guido is in the common area, so he goes looking for Julio.

 

It is not hard to find him; more often than not, Julio is outside. Even when it is raining, Julio is outside. Shatterstar does not see the issue with rain but most other humans get irritated by it. It is nice; it is not something that should be taken for granted.

 

There is a small plot of land behind the X-Factor building. Julio threatened to quit the team if they did not set aside space for him. Shatterstar does not doubt that the threat was legitimate. 

 

Shatterstar does not know much about gardening, but appreciates the greenness of it. The garden is delicate, guarded carefully by Julio. He stands in it now; Shatterstar can see him in the window, not quite moving but apparently speaking.

 

Julio talks to himself often; it is the same as when Shatterstar hums alone. Something private, something comforting. Shatterstar does not make a habit out of eavesdropping on Julio.

 

Still, it is his job to stay with Julio, so he takes off his socks. Then, he rolls up the legs of his pants carefully. It is pointless to put on shoes. Julio always finds a way to talk him into taking them off no matter how certain Shatterstar is that he will not take them off.

 

He opens the back door, stepping out onto the small path of tiles embedded in the grass. Julio chose each of them, ran his fingers over all the tiles in the hardware store until he found ones he liked. 

 

Julio’s powers seem like a guide. Shatterstar is unsure of how exactly they work, but Julio says he could feel that those tiles were lonely, wanted company, wanted a home. Shatterstar’s powers are not a guide; he needs Julio for so much, even for using his powers. He knows this is an acceptable arrangement, but it is strange to need  _ help.  _

 

That need bristles under his skin, he would worry at the sensation but that would concern Julio. They have both made promises to not injure themselves. Julio says that it is still not good even if Shatterstar heals quickly. He is trying to find a better alternative to biting at his fingers, but it is not easy.

 

The tile is cool under his feet, nice and definite. His hair is already wet, as is his shirt, but it is not an unpleasant sensation. It will become one when he is not standing in the rain and it is just slicked to his skin, but he can always remove it once he is back indoors.

 

He does not want to surprise Julio but does not want to distract him either. Shatterstar makes his presence known by humming, loud enough to be heard over the soft patter of rain. It is fitting to hum Singing in the Rain, even if he is not actually singing. One day, he would like to learn how to whistle.

 

Julio does not turn around to face Shatterstar, even as he speaks, “Hey, Star!”

 

Neither of them seem to ever talk about the fact that Shatterstar does not leave him alone. 

 

He stands next to Julio in the dirt. There are empty spaces set aside for new plants, but Julio has not gotten around to choosing the ones to fill those spaces. Julio has asked him for help but Shatterstar is not very good at making decisions.

 

“You’re the best boyfriend ever,” Julio says, he is looking up at the sky, eyes closed, droplets of water rolling down his face, “Not even Tabs would come and stand out in the rain with me.”

 

Shatterstar does not have a response. Julio is used to him not having words for many occasions; it is another thing that is accepted without being brought up. Instead, he takes Julio’s hand, swings it back and forth. It is easier to speak through actions most times.

 

Shatterstar copies Julio’s pose, eyes closed, face turned up towards the rain, and thinks of the first rain. Julio had been the instigator for that one as well. Shatterstar was wary at first, the majority of his life was spent indoors and the rain outside on Mojoworld was dangerously acidic.

 

Julio had pulled him outside, both hands held tight. Julio touching him has never felt like a threat, even when he tried to keep Shatterstar from bolting back indoors. He has always explained things very gently.

 

“You know what’s great about standing in the rain?”

 

Shatterstar does not.

 

He makes a soft noise that suggests that, too lost in thought to rehearse over what to say.

 

Julio laughs, squeezing Star’s hand tighter, “No one can tell if you’re crying.”

 

“Are you crying?” Shatterstar turns to him, brows furrowed. 

 

Reading the emotions of others is almost as challenging as reading his own, but he understands Julio by now.

 

“Maybe,” Julio says, “Maybe I am.”

 

“Is that good or bad?”

 

Julio opens his eyes, now facing Shatterstar, “It depends.”

 

Shatterstar frowns. The basic foundation emotions were easy, easy to identify, easy to group into positive and negative, but there are far more shades of grey than expected. So many interpretations of feelings are based on context.

 

“Sometimes people cry too much, and that’s bad. You never cry,” Julio places his free hand against Star’s cheek, “It’s kind of scary. It’s kind of sad.”

 

Julio’s meaning is unclear, but Shatterstar leans into the touch anyway, “Should I cry?”

 

“That’s up to you. Sometimes it helps.”

 

He hums in consideration. Shatterstar is unsure of how it would help; most things that fall under negative emotions hurt so much and he knows crying is often paired with sadness.

 

He does not like being sad, knows that this is part of why it is his job to stay with Julio. He makes Shatterstar happy; hopefully Shatterstar does the same for him.

 

“I do not know if I can cry,” Shatterstar pauses to think, “It has been so long, I can barely remember crying.”

 

“That’s okay,” Julio’s fingers play across his cheek, “Really, that’s okay.”

 

“Would people like me more if I could cry?”

 

Shatterstar knows people find him strange, knows that they can tell he is not like them.

 

“Star,” Julio smiles at him, something soft and small and only for Shatterstar, “All that matters is that  _ I _ like you.”

 

It is raining and it is a strange day, but a good day, and Julio likes him and maybe, just maybe, he is crying.


End file.
